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dear boy ,

are you doing good so far ? hows ur mother ? tell her i miss to have a chat with her :) oh and yeah i miss your sister too. dah nk kawin kan your sister. I'm happy for her. eh ,I don't know why i'm writing this. i have promised myself not to write anything about you in the blog like what i used to do in my previous blog. oh , maybe tomorrow going to be your birthday. WAIT. it's already 0142 am. so its already 20April. your birthday. soo HOREYY , HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY ! have a blast :) i knw you have the-most-awesome friend in the world yg mmg akn buat surprise celebration bagai for your birthday. well , you should be glad to have them around you. sorry this year i can't join them to plan for the surprise like what i used to do 3 years ago. mlm birthday u mmg ariff busy bagai text i semua nk tny mcm mana. well , dh bestfriend dia pny birthday kan. and i'm happy to know ariff. So , i hope u are doing good so far :) with your study, your music , your family and perhaps your girlfriend. err , i don't how to write this but i really wanna write so bad. i don't how would it be if i talk to you. i think i will burst into tears. so i think i should write it here. i hope you read this or maybe ariff will ask you to read this. idk. i won't text or call you to wish your birthday. No , i won't do that. i hope u know how difficult would it be for me since u used to be the only person who can understand and comforts me. and yeah i won't cry. or at least i will try not to cry.and if i do i will wipe my own tears. i won't let you to do that for me anymore. I'm sorry if i sound so cheesy , but i can't stop myself. i know u said we should move on. you said u wanna let me move on with some other guy who much much better than you. who have this really bright future so he won't let me down in the future and can be a very good father to my children. aahh , why u said that ? i'm happy when i'm with u. doesn't mean that when you are not doing good in ur study u can have a bright future right ? we can face it together. we can face the world like heroes together. we had promised about it right ? but u broke the promised. i know we're getting better now. i hope so we're getting better. i hope i can talk to you if not as a girlfriend to a boyfriend, as a friend will be fine for me. btw we are friends right ? but all of this take times for me. i know when i met you about one month ago , i haven't talk to you that much. when ariff went to the toilet*(idk dia betul pergi toilet ke tak. but i hope he didn't lied ) only two of us left , i hope i can't run away or pretend i'm sick and need to go home that very soon. i know you tried to talk to me. i know you tried to make jokes so that i can laugh instead of doing nothing on my phone. u said "asl u tak gelak. i miss your laughed you knw ?" and that time mmg i taleh tahan lagi , i cried. yess , in front of you. and you saw that right ? then suddenly you wiped my tears , but when i realised you are no longer mine , i push away your hand. and you said i'm sorry. its okay dude. but then you  said " heyy , even though u are no longer mine. but i still can't see u cried. jgn mcm ni. i cared bout you. we've promised right to move on ?" then  i said " mana ada i nangis. td mata i pedih lah masuk habuk sapa suruh you nk lepak oldtown ni. mmg byk habuk lah kan tepi jalan ni. "
i lied. yes i lied. and you knw i lied " you lied. i'm sorry if i make you cry. but please listen hear" then i saw ariff came terus i buat muka excited panggil dia ckp mknn dia dh sampai. padahal makanan dia mmg dh sampai bfr dia pergi toilet lgi kan ? i knw i look so stupid. SORY.

err btw , i think i should stop writing this cheesy things. siapa yg menyampah minah ni jiwang nak mampus , maaf ye. i have feelings too. perempuan mmg emosi. HHA. see, i can laugh now. i'm fine. eiii tipunya kau ni. and to you , happy birthday again !

its already 2.25 and i'm off to bed. take care lovies <3